A Mess in the Head

Sometime in October-November, 2018.

I found these photos in my archives from heavier times.

I’ve realized there will always be traits in us that we’ll always be wrestling with.

I often think about that moment I decided to finally leave — to strip myself of everything (my home, my family and comfort), to pack my car and belongings and set for a life of utter discomfort, uncertainty and excitement, in order to get out of a life that was given so easily to me; to grow up and learn to fend for and take care of myself, all because I knew I wanted and craved more.

These past few months have taught me a lot in lessons of tolerance and boundaries. When you reach a breaking point, you grow tired of the things that no longer serve you. You realize you have to pull up your big girl pants, speak up, say no, draw the line, and do the work.

I’ve always been an extremely sensitive and intuitive person. I value my time and energy and, given my life and work, I have been on overdrive for far too long. And I’m ready to take my life back.

To new beginnings and seasons of change,
to the fall equinox 🍂 ,
to always being curious and experimenting with, opening ourselves up to this game we call life,
and to recognizing just how far you’ve come,
to realize you’re only just beginning,
once again.

And that’s where I’ve found faith: in that every feeling, memory and fleeting moment is just temporary. Sometimes you just wake up and don’t things to be a certain way anymore. And you realize all those growing pains are only shaping you to become the fullest version of yourself.

With love and honesty,

Rachel

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